Hello, friends, it has been a while. The winter was long and dreary and it seemed I had run out of thoughts to share. My overriding feeling these past few months has been that change is in the air and I have been rethinking where I am headed.
My painting life has been quiet as well, as if the great push I made before Christmas to set up this new site, to open an Etsy shop, to put my art out there either drained me of all creative energy and I needed time to refuel and, yes, revisit the reasons why I paint. If you have been a reader of this blog for a while you will recognize this tendency I have to pull back, to reassess, to think deeply about what drives me. And winter, well...winter is the season where I spend too much time in my head.
Instead of fighting what was happening, instead of pushing myself to my studio each day I decided to let it be, to see where this turn would take me. It wasn't long before I realized that one change was that I began spending more time engaging in daily life. I volunteered more actively at Ann's Place. I took up piano. I allowed myself time to just sit and read for the sheer pleasure of it, going through all twelve of Louise Penny's Inspector Gamache mysteries in three months.
I developed a beginner's mind, returning to the watercolor open studio I used to attend and requesting that my teacher, Betsy Rogers-Knox, have me start at the very beginning (a very good place to start) with graphic sketching, learning about shading and toning and drawing from still life. I signed up for Flora Bowley's Creative Revolution E-Course, learning ways to jump-start my creativity and to weave it into my daily life.
It was as if since I had proven to myself that I could achieve certain goals (setting up shop, and this site) I made the unconscious decision to change course, to continue my journey in a more mindful way. I gave myself permission to grow slowly, to play, to ease up on my self-imposed expectations to get things right the first time.
Going deeper, I am no longer afraid that my cancer will return and rob me of precious time. I feel strong and healthy. And, let's be honest; does any one of us know how much time we have on this beautiful planet? Instead I am trying to live a meaningful, balanced life every day, to accept life's ebbs and flows, to allow change to occur rather than fight it.
It is so good to be here with you again.